In 2009 I ran this race in 94 minutes and 49 seconds. This was a huge improvement over my 2008 race (my first GOG), which was 1:48:38. Additionally, in February I ran a 1:24:33 at the Snowman Stampede. For these reasons, I felt confident that a 90 minute race was achievable. Even knowing what a challenging course this is, I believed I could accomplish my goal. Sub-90 was still five and a half minutes slower than my PR, after all. That's a lot of wiggle room on a 10-mile course. I felt confident I could have a good race.
With this sense of confidence and optimism I drove down to Colorado Springs yesterday to spend the night at my sister's place. We had a delicious and filling homemade spaghetti dinner and watched an old, funny movie before calling it an early night. I was looking forward to a restful and deep sleep, which would help prepare me for a fast race in the morning. Unfortunately, I had difficulty falling asleep--I was too wired, too excited about my forthcoming fantastic race. When I did finally slow my brain down enough for me to start to sleep, I kept drifting in and out. So a solid night's sleep didn't happen. But I still felt confident that I could have a good race.
I think this was the biggest GOG 10 Mile race yet. I heard the announcer say that there were about 2,000 participants. It looked like a good crowd, and everybody was ready to have a fun race. Thankfully, the weather had taken a turn for the better: after steady rain for much of yesterday, today there was none, although the sky was filled with clouds. Actually, it was almost letter-perfect: cool weather (low 50s), clouds to keep the sun away, and even a mild, gentle breeze. There was a bit more humidity in the air, but the cool weather made that less of an issue. I still felt confident that I could have a good race.
The race start itself was somewhat unusual and mildly amusing: the starter pistol fired early. I was watching the clock at the start line counting down, and the gun went off with 17 seconds remaining! From where I was, back a bit from the line, there were some amused glances and shared chuckles, but we soon realized that the crowd was moving forward! Of course, the runners toeing the line, who were in it to win it, had naturally taken off at the sound of the gun, and there was no way they would stop, retrace their steps, and start over. So, naturally, the rest of us followed. I noticed as I crossed the line that the starting clock had been disabled. I figured they'd recalibrate it by the time everyone had cleared, but thanked my lucky stars and technology dependence that I had my Garmin. Despite this initial confusion, I still felt confident that I could have a good race.
I made my way along the first mile, the (relatively) flattest part of the course. I told myself that I could run a 9:15 pace for that first mile, knowing that I'd be able to make up that time on the rest of the run by hitting just under 9-minute pace. I remembered the steep downhills on the course, and figured I could easily make up some time on those. After the first mile, as the course turned into Garden of the Gods Park and the first steep uphill, I pushed myself and attempted to increase my pace to sub-9 minutes. I felt pretty good, still rested and confident that I could have a good race. As I topped the first hill and began the descent on the other side, I increased my turnover and let gravity take control. Before I knew it, I was almost sprinting down the steel decline (I confirmed later that I'd broken 6-minute mile pace). However, as I was tearing down the hill, I told myself that it was a mistake, that I'd end up burning out too soon. I was no longer confident that I could have a good race.
I think that was when I really lost my edge in this race. Lately I've been struggling with self-doubt and negative thinking, and I believe what happened here today at that point is another example of that. I told myself that I was going to burn out because I was going so fast on that (ridiculously steep) downhill, and I let myself believe it. So when I started climbing up the next hill, I felt my energy disappear. I was still holding between a 9 and 9:15 minute pace, but I'd already persuaded myself--2 miles into the race!--that I was done for. My spirits rose a bit at the next downhill, just past the 2 mile mark, and I let myself speed up; but on the next steep climb I let it happen: I walked. It wasn't for long; but as I've said before, once I let myself do it once, it becomes easier and easier to do it again and again. I'd lost all confidence that I could have a good race.
This pattern repeated itself for the next several miles: on the descents, I would increase my turnover and let gravity take control. Then, on the uphills, I would slow down and eventually walk to the crest. I was getting angrier and angrier with myself for letting it come to this. Then, as I made my way along the path through the park (approaching mile 5), I began to feel a little dizzy. I focused on keeping myself moving, and prayed that I wouldn't trip or collapse. I feared I was becoming dehydrated, but told myself I was imagining things.
Ever since I'd started to walk, I'd begun playing leapfrog with, well, several runners; but one in particular caught my eye: a girl with twin tattoos on her lower back, one a red bird with devil horns and the other the same bird in blue, with an angel's halo. As she passed me in the park, she called out encouragingly, "Come on, you're doing great, more than halfway done!" Sure enough, on the next downhill I pulled ahead of her, and maintained my lead for a bit, but as before she caught up to me on my next uphill walk. We continued this until the steep climb up to mile 7, at which point she passed me for the last time. She soon pulled out to a respectable lead, and I despaired of ever seeing her again.
Miles 8 and 9 were my slowest of the day. I was deeply discouraged and disappointed in myself and all the walking I'd let myself do. I was no longer feeling dizzy; but my calves were spasming slightly, a sure sign that I was dehydrated. And now I was beset by a new, odd complaint: my right foot felt slightly numb, like it was falling asleep. It wasn't completely without feeling, but I worried that I might step badly and twist my ankle. I tried as hard as I could not to focus too much on these things, but instead to keep my attention on the fact that I was almost done. That proved exceptionally difficult. I'd spent so much of the last 7 miles listening to my negative self-talk that I was really having trouble banishing it.
The sight of the mile 9 mark helped in that regard a great deal. Knowing that I only had a mile left, I began to push as hard as I could. Unfortunately it didn't feel like I'd sped up all that much. But then I saw something in the distance that lifted my spirits tremendously: a matching pair of red and blue tattoos! Yes, Tattoo Girl was only a half mile or so ahead of me. I wondered idly if I might catch up to her before the end...the sight of those birds gave new life to my tired legs and pushed all negative energy right out of my head. Hearing the crowd noise as in the last half mile helped too, as did seeing my sister cheering for me in the final stretch. I saw the finish line clock inching its way towards 1:36:00. I poured the last bits of energy I had into my legs, driving myself across the finish line just before the clock turned over that minute. My final time according to my Garmin: 1:35:25.
I'm not particularly happy with today's race. I did not run smart. I ran very unevenly. I let negative thoughts and self-doubt affect me to an alarming degree. My friends all say I'm being too hard on myself, that 95 minutes and change is still a fantastic time for a 10 mile course, especially one as deeply challenging as this. Besides, I only missed beating last year's time by less than 20 seconds. I know that, and understand it, and appreciate it. But I know I can do better. I
should have done better. I let myself slow down, and so I let myself down. I have got to work on getting rid of that self-doubt. Fortunately I have some resources that should be able to help me with that.
Time: 1:35:25
Total Races: 7
YTD Race Miles: 95.9
YTD Total Miles: 519.7
Unexpected Bling: For the first time, I got a medal for finishing this race!
